it takes two to tango
Meaning
A situation, conflict, or outcome usually involves two parties; both share responsibility or participation, not just one side.
Origin
From the partner dance tango: you need two people to dance it. Popularized as a proverb-like line in mid-20th-century American English, often about shared blame in disputes.
Notes
Often mildly admonishing or wry: implies shared responsibility, especially for conflict. Common in conversation and commentary. Can sound dismissive if said to someone who feels wronged.
Examples
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Stop blaming her for the argument—it takes two to tango.
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The deal fell through because both sides refused to compromise; it takes two to tango.
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If you want this friendship to work, remember it takes two to tango.
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The teacher reminded the class that bullying often involves bystanders too; it takes two to tango.
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You can’t fix the communication problem alone—it takes two to tango.
Grammar & Usage Notes
Fixed wording: usually “It takes two to tango.” The verb can inflect in reported speech (“it took…”). Used as a standalone sentence or as a clause after “but/remember.”
Synonyms
- both sides are to blame
- it works both ways
- it takes two
- two can play at that game
Antonyms
- it’s all on you
- the blame lies solely with you
- one-sided