have it both ways
Meaning
To try to enjoy the advantages of two incompatible options; to want two contradictory outcomes at the same time.
Origin
From the idea that some choices are mutually exclusive: you can’t take two different “ways” at once and still keep all benefits. The phrase is recorded in English from the early 20th century and is closely associated with “You can’t have it both ways.”
Notes
Often used to criticize inconsistency or unrealistic demands. Most common in the negative form: “You can’t have it both ways.” Fits casual speech and formal argument.
Examples
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You can’t have it both ways—you either take the promotion and travel more, or stay in your current role.
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She wants the freedom of freelance work but also a guaranteed paycheck; she’s trying to have it both ways.
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The company claims to support transparency, yet it hides key details; it can’t have it both ways.
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He insists on being treated like a beginner while taking credit like an expert—he’s trying to have it both ways.
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If you refuse to commit but still expect exclusivity, you’re trying to have it both ways.
Grammar & Usage Notes
Fixed phrase: “have it both ways,” commonly with modal/negation (“can’t have it both ways”). “It” is usually required; tense can change (had/having). Often followed by a contrast clause (want X but also Y).
Synonyms
- want it both ways
- have your cake and eat it too
- have it all
Antonyms
- make a choice
- pick a side
- commit to one option