at arm’s length
Meaning
At a distance—physically or emotionally; not becoming too close or involved.
Origin
From the literal idea of keeping someone far enough away that you could reach them with an outstretched arm—close enough to monitor or control, but not close enough for intimacy or harm. It broadened to mean emotional or social distance.
Notes
Often implies caution, mistrust, or a desire to avoid intimacy/entanglement. Used for relationships, politics, business ties; can sound cold if applied to people.
Examples
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After the argument, she kept her brother at arm’s length for a few weeks.
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The company’s legal team advised them to keep the new partner at arm’s length until the contract was finalized.
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I like my coworkers, but I prefer to keep work friendships at arm’s length.
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He was polite at the party, yet he held everyone at arm’s length and left early.
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To avoid getting emotionally drained, she keeps social media at arm’s length.
Grammar & Usage Notes
Usually used as an adverbial phrase: keep/hold/stand at arm’s length; keep someone at arm’s length. Also used predicatively: remain at arm’s length. Article is fixed (“at”), and “arm’s” is typically singular possessive; “arms’ length” also appears but is less common.
Synonyms
- keep someone at a distance
- keep someone at bay
- keep one’s distance
- hold off
Antonyms
- take someone into one’s confidence
- embrace
- get close to